Well, it’s happened. Jesse and I finally decided to skip church on a Sunday. I can’t tell you the last time that happened-probably when I graduated! Jesse usually goes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, and although I can rarely join him because of work, we don’t intentionaly skip it, and certainly never on Sundays.
But that was before I got old.
Yes, it has happened. I, Kelly Marie Cone, have lost my superpower ability to survive on little sleep. YES, IT HAS HAPPENED!! For 4 intense years, I was able to get by for months on only 4-5 hrs. of sleep a night. Of course that means I took power naps during the day, that I occasionally fell asleep in my cornflakes, that weekends were a time of sacred sleeping in for 50 hrs. straight. Of course that means that I would kill people on the flag football field, simply due to the fact that I should have been on my fifth dream at 1pm on a Saturday instead of eating grass and mud.
But now, I’M OLD!! For goodness sakes, it’s like the minute one’s 22nd birthday approaches, you can’t operate on anything less than 9 straight hours!! At first, I didn’t quite catch on since sleep is sort of an accidental addendum to my life. But now, I simply have to fall asleep at 10pm in order to even STIR at7am!! This is scary since most of the time I need to be out of the door by 7:30.
Not to mention the napping. On Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays I have a 2-3 hour lunch break due to scheduling. This would be a great time to take care of my shopping, workout, or even the household chores. But no. I nap. That makes my grand sleep total per day add up to around 11 hours.
And I’m still getting ill from all the exhaustion! So far I’ve had the flu twice, sinus headaches, a cold, and the most recent and ongoing, migraines that threaten to make my eyeballs pop out of my head. This is what has ailed me for the past 72 hrs, and nothing, not even overdosing on every painkiller I can find has helped them. Jesse is worn out from life and caring for his sick wife and crazy cat, so he is taking a much deserved sleeping-in-time.
So there it is. One more has joined the ranks of the aging and the dying. One more spastic teenager has lost the residual effects of her youth and joined the assembly line of Capitalistic America. One more American will be joining her coworkers at Starbucks hourly for her much needed jolt back into reality.
Adventures in Sleep Training
Adventures in Sleep Training Part 2