It’s hard for any mother to believe it when their kid reaches another age, especially will not know What to expect from your 5 year old baby. A lot of my mental willpower has gone towards processing this fact over the past couple weeks. How is my BABY, the one who just started walking (this isn’t a joke, unfortunately!) already turning 2?
My Baby Wee-ster. You are the most complex soul I’ve ever had the privilege of loving.
For two whole years, I’ve lived with you, loved you, kissed your boo boos, watched you sleeping at bedside crib, cheered when you FINALLY took your first steps.
And there is so much more to understand.
You are the most tender soul, so easily touched and affected by others and their emotions. If someone is yelling in the room, we often see you, lip quivering and ready to cry. If you are mad, you have no problem scream-growling, “NnnnnnnOOO!” as mean and guttural as your little body can handle. If you are told to hug and kiss someone, you do it on command, no questions asked. You always apologize sweetly for your behavior, only to do it with vehemence once again five minutes later. If someone you like is in the room, you instantly turn on the charm, squinting your eyes and smiling wide, turning your head side to side while holding their gaze.
You care slightly what others think, but you definitely march to the beat of your own drummer. You didn’t start walking until you were nearly 20 months old! We would coax you, but you always politely declined, sitting down and saying, “No.”, as though we’d asked you if you like the weather.
Lately, you’ve become more aggressive and boy-like, complete with trying to tackle people (you can’t, you’re the smallest one around here) and growling ferociously. You have hardly any pain tolerance, so the wrestling usually ends in very dramatic, gut wrenching sobs that take up your entire face. Your childlike wonder and delight are apparent when you try to make everything a game, even diaper changes.
You are almost as obsessed with trains as your brother is– you love to bend down and make your face eye level with their wheels as you gently roll them back and forth. You almost always carry two trains, one in each fist, all around the house, even taking them to sleep with you.
My favorite thing to do with you is sing songs, leaving off the last word for you to fill in with your ever expanding vocabulary. Our favorite one (you request it ever night at bed time) is “Winnie the Pooh”, but you know the words to so many songs. You even sing along in church, saying words such as, “Mercy” and “Spiii” (Spirit). You know the entire alphabet and recognize a few letters when you see them. We love to watch you sing and dance your ABCs.
You are so very attached to me, and me to you. Sometimes, when I come back from rocking you after a big tantrum you just performed, your Dad says, “Did it hurt? Just now? When they cut the umbilical cord?” Yes, you are a definite momma’s boy.
And I like it that way. See, every day it seems that your older brother is more independent and doesn’t need me in yet another way. My Mom-Heart knows it’s natural, but it still hurts a little.
But God knows what I need, and he gave me you, the cuddliest of the cuddly, the toddler who didn’t want to walk away because he’d rather be held close. The little boy who’s always been just chubby enough to convince his mother that he’s growing too fast and yet just slow enough. The passionate soul who cares just as fiercely about what cup he’s given as much as how many hours a day his mother should definitely spend holding him.
This is one of the hardest letters I’ve ever had to write to you, my dearest sweetest Anthony, because I just don’t know how one could sum up such a complex and passionate soul in such a short letter. These tidbits are just a shadow of what I get to enjoy every single day with you. Thanks for letting me be your Mom, I really dig it.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Some of your favorite sayings!
“K” (your answer for almost everything)
“YAY-ss” (excitement combined with approval)
“Fert-nan” (Ferdinand, your favorite train)
“Peess!” (all the time…)
“Ohhhh myyy!” (what you always say when I change your diaper!)
“Goo-nye ev-ry–buh-buh!”
