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On Learning To Hug

March 14, 2014 2 Comments

Gregory and AJ hugging 2013

Growing up, I was never a very “touchy-feely” type of person. Hugs, even amongst friends or loved ones always felt awkward, like being in a play and not knowing the stage directions.

And then, these two precious souls were given to me. And suddenly, I couldn’t keep myself away from them. If I’m not hugging or cuddling them in some way, I feel like I should be. I can’t go for more than a few hours without holding them, as though being away deprives me of oxygen. No matter how hard of a day, I want to be near them.

Gregory sweet face, August 2013

AJ cuddle bug Sept 2013 AJ face 22114 Gregory playing with trains Gregory face 2 22114

Of all the things parenthood has taught me, who would’ve thought that learning how to hug would be one of them? These kids, powerful creatures, they are. I can’t believe how blessed I am.

Check out my interview on Carly Gelsinger’s blog!

 

 

Filed Under: Anthony, Gregory, Parenting, Photos, Thoughts

Family Photos Are Here!!

December 8, 2013 16 Comments

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-22-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-42-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-47-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-59-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-82-XL

 

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-67-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-78-X3

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-7-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-19-XL

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-103-L Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-102-L

Melissa Jean Photography - Family Photographer-96-L

 

All Photos were taken by the lovely Melissa Jean.

Clothes:

Kelly: Top, Victoria Secret/Jeans, Gap/ Boots, Target/ Skirt, thrifted

Jesse: Sweater, Express for Men/Jeans, Levis/Boots, Eco

Gregory: Dockers for Baby, Keens

Anthony: Gap Baby, Converse

Filed Under: Anthony, Best of the Best, Cool Places, Family, Gregory, Photos, Style

Family Pictures 2013- Preview

November 27, 2013 2 Comments

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Every year, we choose Melissa Jean as our photographer. She gives us her old rate since we’ve been her clients for so long (I love it when people do this! Repeat customer all the way!), and she’s completely chill with our crazy our family trying to sit still! She’s never too busy to work around us, and always takes her time to do a good job 🙂 We cannot recommend her highly enough!!

(Other Melissa photo shoots: Anthony’s Newborn, Maternity 2012, Gregory’s 1st Birthday, Gregory’s 3 month)

Family Photo 1

Family Photos 2

 

Filed Under: Anthony, Best of the Best, Family, Gregory, Life, Photos

Motherhood Is Not My Calling

November 18, 2013 10 Comments


image

Gregory and Momma, Ventura

Let me explain.

My sister in law calls me “The Bulldog”. I have this personality that attacks everything I’m given, head on, full force. If I’m ever pestering her with too many details about some new idea I’m excited about, she texts me, “Grr, Bark Bark!” to remind me that I might need to tone it down a bit.

There are so many potential aspects of Motherhood, depending on your views. The definition of “Good Mom” is endless. For some, being a good mom means having regular Dr. checkups and getting every single vaccine recommended. For others, it means quite the opposite. For some, it means feeding the children nothing but goat’s milk and almond flour crackers, and for others, it’s about staying on a tight budget and buying whatever’s on sale. For some, it’s about staying home with the kids, and for others, it’s about making enough money to send them to the best schools money can buy.

Back when I had Gregory, I was terribly confused by all the varying opinions and options. I wanted to treat Motherhood as my calling, and I wanted to do it RIGHT. I threw myself into researching, even during the sleepless newborn days (wherein I was also finishing my MA degree!).

Guess what I ended up discovering?

When I viewed Motherhood as my calling, I actually became a BAD MOM.

I started viewing the whole thing as a job, and it made me hyperactive. I could never just “be” with my kids, because I was always trying to remake things and become better at it. That’s what you do with a job or with a calling, right? Work hard for a promotion?

Not only did I become a bad mom, but I also became a bad friend and wife. Because motherhood is not an 8-5 job, it was bleeding into other areas of my life. I couldn’t ever “turn it off” and be present with Jesse. I struggled with allowing my friends to parent in ways that were described as “wrong” from my research, almost like a CEO managing other departments. I also struggled greatly in confession, because I knew that my kids were definitely a higher priority in my heart and mind than my relationship with the Lord (I still struggle with this one, by the way).

As a result, I’ve come to the conclusion that when I view Motherhood as my calling, or as a job, I become really bad at it, in the bigger scheme of things. Because with Motherhood, there is no promotion. There is only being. And when I was constantly trying to do things better, I wasn’t in the present. I was also always looking for validation from someone and constantly got discouraged when the praise or acknowledgment didn’t equal the work I put into things.

Instead, I’ve started viewing my calling as a relationship. I’ve been given two wonderful human beings to care for. My calling is to have two relationships with two very unique little boys. That means that sometimes, I will have to abandon my research, because it simply does not fit their personalities or needs.

And…because every family is comprised of entirely different personalities that add up to a completely unique recipe every single time, there’s no way that I can know what they “should” or “should not” be doing at any point in time. I can offer advice, but I don’t know. And, when I think about it, I don’t even want the responsibility of knowing. Parenting these two kids is enough responsibility to make me lose sleep, if I let it. If I let my thoughts wander about how I could improve every single mom’s parenting skills (let’s be honest, even the best intentions can turn into this)? It’s an anxiety attack waiting to happen.

For this reason, I know that I do not have a formula to offer anyone. I can only document what does and doesn’t work for us, and hope that someone else can benefit.

Motherhood is not my calling. Loving my boys and husband and honoring those relationships is.

Filed Under: Anthony, Baby, Gregory, Home and Health, Parenting

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