Yesterday was Jesse’s and my two year anniversary. Boy, did that happen really fast! It seems like just yesterday we were packing our boxes and driving through the Texas desert towards Dallas.
Over a fabulous dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant last night, Jesse and I discussed what has changed between us in this last year. The reason is, things have. Big time. I could say that we’re still the same people, but I’m actually not sure of that.
I can only speak for what I see (Jesse will have to fend for himself on here if he wants to, I’m too ill-equipped to describe the deep recesses of his thoughts!). I know that over this last year, I’ve grown to respect and trust Jesse more than I thought possible. Part of this is due to moving away, as we’ve discussed recently with Mike and Courtney who have experienced the same thing. When you are alone in a brand new location, it brings you closer in a way that nothing else can. Moving brings with it a new sort of stress that throws all sorts of hidden emotions onto the table. Habits that were “annoying” but tolerable are amplified and, subsequently, dealt with. It’s because of this I felt that someone, somewhere, had pushed a fast-forward but on whatever growth we were experiencing in our first year of marriage.
And now I see Jesse in a different light. I have never seen him so confident, so full of life and energy for what is good and right. I feel blessed that I have been able to witness his transformation this year as he became not only more wise and learned, but more kind and caring. It’s hard for me to catch him at a time when he’s NOT doing what he should. He’s more humble and slow to anger than I’ve seen, more eager to help me and make life easier, more eager to love those around him.
As a result, we hardly fight at all and even when we do, it rarely lasts longer than an hour or two. For those of you that knew us last year, this is an amazing testimony to God’s gracious and loving care in our lives. I’m not going to say it happened magically; it took a lot of work, a lot of difficult conversations that I would have preferred to “avoid”, a lot of honesty about our own faults, but it was worth it. I remember a conversation that I had with Fr. Wayne over a year ago about marriage, in which he said that he and his wife hadn’t fought in over 20 years. I, of course, thought that that was the scariest thing I’d ever heard- without arguments, I thought, things are just getting swept under the rug! Fr. Wayne explained that instead of letting anything get to an argument, they both take a proactive role in being honest with one another.
At the same time that this was scary, however, it was also overwhelmingly appealing. Whenever Jesse and I argue, whenever I am cruel to him, I hurt inside, as though I am hurting MYSELF when I say the wrong thing. I hate having to be prevention oriented, because it means unpleasant confrontation when I’d rather be eating chocolate or watching a movie, but it sure beats the pain of separation and fighting.
So here’s a toast to our next year together. May it be as fruitful as the second and more. May we continue to serve the Lord and love others in all that we do.
Then:
Now:
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