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5 Tips for Traveling On An Airplane With Kids

January 7, 2015 5 Comments

Whew, these last three weeks have been a bit of a blur, in large part due to our trip to CA for the holidays. This last trip marks the 3rd time I’ve had to fly by myself with both kids (ages 4 and 2) in tow, and I must say, it wasn’t half bad. I used to hire a private jet charter because I’ve always loved their jet card programs. and travel a lot back when we lived in TX the first time (with only one kid though), and I think I’m starting to get the hang of it once more. You see, I’ve been roving around on the internet, on forums like Traxplorio | Best Travel Community, to find those handy tips on how I can travel efficiently. Much to my surprise, I found quite some travel hacks.

These are the 5 Tips for Traveling on An Airplane with Kids that I’ve compiled. No, I am not including the suggestion to hand out care packages to those around you– I agree with the writer of this article that one should not have to apologize for having kids on an airplane. Children are people too, and their grandparents have feelings and need to see their progeny! End of story!

1. Choose The Right Seats— As much as you may not LIKE sitting in the very very back of the plane, it is essential to handling a flight with children. Being near the very back, especially in the actual last row, enables you to annoy as few people as possible if situations arise. This will help your stress level (mothers can’t help but hear every cry a million times louder than it actually is!), which will in turn help keep your kids calm. Being near the lavatory is also a MUST, and you’re right near the stewardess if you ever need anything! I’ve even asked a stewardess to keep an eye on the kids while I use the tiny lavatory.

If you’re flying with just one child, or you’re flying with another adult and you have a “lap child” (0-2 years old without a purchased seat), here’s a little trick we’ve learned: when you pick your seats ahead of time, pick an aisle seat and a window seat. You might panic, thinking, “but what will happen if we’re separated like that?” but the odds are in your favor. Middle seats are the absolutely LAST to get chosen, and I can’t tell you how many flights we’ve been on where we got that middle seat for “free” because no one wanted a back-of-the-plane-middle-seat. And if it does get filled by someone? They will want to trade with you for your window or aisle seat when the time comes! Plane Pal extends your child’s seat allowing them to lay flat and sleep on a plane!

The plane’s engine is also quite loud in the back of the plane, which I’ve found acts as excellent white noise for napping babies!

2. Chewy Candy– For my kids, they are most likely to cry during takeoff and landing since their ears are popping and they don’t understand why.

Since they shouldn’t have gum and the stewardess is required to take the beverages away before landing, I’ve been searching for the right candy to help their ears and I think I finally found it this last trip! Jellybeans! They are the perfect amount of chewy so that they can let their ears adjust to the air pressure gradually, and they last much longer than a sip of water. We had a large multi-pack of Jelly Bellys, and each of my boys got to pick their colors which made for some added entertainment and fun (hey, anything is a bonus after they tell you to put away electronics!). My boys consumed around 4-5 jellybeans each on take off and then again on landing. Not a ton of sugar, but something that they looked forward to.

3. Give Each Kid A Job– Obviously this one only applies to older toddlers and above, but my 4 year old went from being squirrelly and destructive to actually helpful when I gave him a few chores in the airport. I actually had him hauling a roll away suitcase at one point! He was beaming because instead of being told to “be quiet”, he was being given an adult-like task that made him feel important. It also kept his hands glued to something so that he wasn’t always trying to punch (or tackle) his brother!

In addition, he had a small backpack full of his own toys. I thought that would be stressful for me and that I would be constantly worrying about whether or not we had them, but he loved the responsibility of watching out for his toys.

4. Dress Right– It may seem obvious that layers are the way to go, but you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve forgotten this. In the middle of summer, it’d be hard to imagine that the plane will be cold, but it probably will be. You also never know if you will get stuck during a layover, with all of your extra clothes in your checked bags (read here for the time where we spent the night in the Denver airport with a newborn!). Extra layers also make for toddler sized pillows, if need be.

Along this line, here’s another (semi-embarrassing but essential) tip. Repeat after me: Dress.Your.Kids.Cute. Dress.Your.Kids.Cute. I mean it. Bring out the cute sweaters, the bowties and the mary janes. Dress your little people like Janie and Jack threw up all over them. Let’s be honest– it’s much easier to love kids when they’re cute. It’s also much easier to love other people’s kids when they’re cute. And you’re going to need all the extra love and grace the people can give you while you’re standing for an hour in that airport security line. When your little darlings look like model citizens instead of some snotty-faced petri-dish stereotype that single businesspeople expect, you will find that everyone extends you a lot more leniency when the kids are acting up, even, dare I say, possibly smiling and saying, “How cute!” Just make sure to avoid clothes that are hard to access for diaper changes (tights).

Oh, and this one should go without saying but I’ll say it anyways– Moms and Dads, wear slip-ons, something that hardly needs hands to put back on. When you’re going through security, 9 times out of 10 the kids can keep their shoes on (thank God) but the parent cannot. You want those shoes to be lightning fast! Wear loafers in the summer and Uggs in the winter.

5. Wear Your Baby– Obviously this one only applies to babies and small toddlers, but it’s good to remember. Wear your baby in carrier. Avoid the Moby Wrap, as nice as they are for newborns, because you will have to take it on and off through security (at least, I did every single time I flew) and it needs to be fast, otherwise, where are you going to set your baby while you’re busy folding and wrapping that thing around you? You’ll also have to take your baby off during take off and landing and hold them in your lap (again, in my experience).

But babies feel so much more secure when they’re close, and they might even spend the majority of the flight (s) napping! Win! You also won’t have to worry about checking a stroller at the gate, and don’t even get me started on how much easier it is to use the restroom when you don’t have to keep your baby from touching everything…

Those are my 5 tips for traveling on an airplane with kids. Do you have any to add? Or do you avoid traveling on a plane altogether with your kids (as many of my friends do) ?

Asleep before the plane took off! It’s a miracle!

Linking up with Carrie This Home, Meandering Mondays, Naptime Creations, A Little Bird Told Me, and The Pin Junkie.

Dealing With Loss at Christmas

December 25, 2014 1 Comment

When Jesse and I decided to start a family, I was terrified that I would one day mis-carry a baby. Although I knew that I would probably survive the trauma, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to walk down that awful road, face those fears and doubts, feel the gut wrenching pain. I’ve had more friends than I thought walk the very road that I feared, and it deeply sickens me to know that level of pain exists for a mother.

One of my dearest friends from childhood lost her baby 3 years ago on Christmas Eve. When I read her written testimony of this event, I just knew that I had to share her story, word for word. I know that there are many out there who have lost someone, and that the holidays can be brutal.

If your heart is hurting or grieving because you are dealing with loss at Christmas please take the time to read this and be encouraged.

“Not knowing what else to do, I sat down with my Bible and outlined my options for facing my most difficult-to-date Christmas: (1) ignore it, (2) fake it, or (3) rescue it.

Option number 1 was tempting, and I probably would have chosen it if I didn’t have a family depending on me for hope. Option 2 was also tempting—but impossible. I didn’t have the emotional energy for it. I wasn’t sure what option 3 would look like, but I wanted it. I wanted to find a way to make Christmas come alive in my broken heart and sad home. I felt desperate for Christmas to be rescued, and even though it seemed like a long shot, I decided to give it a try. I determined that instead of running from Christmas, I would instead invite Jesus into it. I would intentionally let his comfort come to my chaos by leaning into the swirling storm of sorrow and joy rather than away from it. And as I experienced his goodness in those tender days of Christmas, I realized I could have that goodness in all the days I would ever face as we traveled the road of suffering. In the end, the holidays of that first year post-diagnosis turned out to be some of our most beautiful.” – Bo Stern, When Merry Christmas Doesn’t Come Easy

*****

A few weeks ago, Kay Warren posted an article about how receiving a flurry of “perfect” and “happy” family Christmas cards was so hard because many of those people didn’t take time to acknowledge the pain she felt of losing her son to suicide last year. And many of the responses I saw on the internet had some sentiment of “Yeah! Don’t tell me about all that you’re happy about! Don’t you know I’m miserable over here?”

In some ways, I agree. The Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn, to weep with those who weep, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. And Kay’s friends didn’t seem to be doing a good job in mourning the loss of her son with her.

But she wasn’t rejoicing with those who rejoiced, either.

Before you rail on me for my lack of compassion for those who are hurting at Christmas because they’ve lost a loved one who was near and dear to them, please hear me out.

I know what it is to suffer. I know what it is to despair. I know what it is to shake an angry fist at God and tell Him I am more than just a little bit p!$$ed at Him. Heck, I know what it’s like to flip Him the bird and tell Him how awful I think He is.

I know how hard it is to rejoice with those who rejoice when I am at the lowest of lows.

That might surprise you if you’ve always known me as the “good Christian kid” who minds her P’s and Q’s, obeys all the rules, gets the good grades in school and generally conforms to the expectations society has for being a “good person”.

But then you may not have heard all of my story.

Three years ago tomorrow – yes, on Christmas Eve – Peter and I lost our first baby.

We had a positive pregnancy test on the 17th, confirmed at the doctor’s office on the 18th, told both of our sets of parents in time for Peter’s birthday celebration on the 21st, and then wept bitterly as spotting on Christmas Eve afternoon turned to heavy bleeding with no hope of recovery.

It was awful. And gut-wrenching. And soul-crushing.

And I was lost.

In my defiance, Peter and I decided together that we wouldn’t let Satan win. We would NOT miss out on Christmas simply because tragedy had struck. We WOULD celebrate the birth of our Savior even as we were wounded to our core.

I have never felt so awful in my entire life.

My baby was literally flushed down a toilet as I bled. My husband was lame from an ankle surgery earlier that month, so I was doing all the driving. None of our closest friends who we would have felt comfortable telling were in town. There was absolutely nothing to cling to.

Except Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong – that Christmas was terrible. And I’m crying just thinking about how painful it was to sit through a church service where we celebrate the birth of a baby even as I knew I had just lost mine. A baby who was so loved and wanted and cherished – suddenly gone.

Peter and I both had a week off of work between Christmas and New Year’s, which was helpful. We spent a lot of time crying, zoning out in front of movies, ordering in pizza or Thai food (when we felt like eating, which wasn’t often), and reading through the book of Hebrews together. In Hebrews, we read that Jesus is our Great High Priest who has suffered as we have. He knows all of our temptations and our struggles and our worries and our hurts because He has been there. He knows all the pain and suffering caused by sin – both our own sin and others’ sin committed against us.

That’s the joy of a Savior who was fully man.

And He conquered that all with His death on the cross and His resurrection three days later.

That’s the power of a Savior who is also fully God.

And that is Good News.

As a longtime Christian, I knew that, at least in my head. That is to say, I knew the theological concept and could describe it with all kinds of cool, smart-sounding words and descriptions.

Jesus was about to make sure I knew how it played out in real life, too.

The next few months were not easy. Grief never is, especially for those of us who like to remain composed and in control. There were many days when I cried alone in the bathroom at work, or collapsed into tears at the end of the day, or despaired at the thought of ever having children.

A coworker of mine was pregnant, about 2 months further along than we should have been, and was constantly making comments about how she was eating because baby needed food right now, or how the Sharpie marker to address the envelope packet at work was making her nauseous even in the second trimester, or how she was excited for this or that about being a parent. I hadn’t told anyone at work about losing the baby because I couldn’t handle talking about it more often than I needed to, and I didn’t want “miscarriage” to be the first thing people thought about when they saw me. So this poor gal (who, I found out later, had previously lost several babies, too, some as late as 20 weeks along) had no idea how her totally normal, off-the-cuff, excited parent-to-be comments felt like knives in my wounded heart. One day, after more of her comments than usual, Peter and I talked on the phone while I walked to the bus stop. He was so gracious to remind me about how much Jesus loved me, how much Jesus loved our baby, how Jesus was walking with both of us through this awfulness.

The words that came out of the mouth of the “good Christian kid” shocked me.

“I don’t want Jesus. I want my baby back!”

Ladies and gentlemen, I never would have said that before, either out loud or in the depths of my heart. I never would have admitted that something aside from Jesus had taken priority over Him. That’s idolatry, and every Christian knows that’s just not okay.

But I couldn’t take the words back.

I had just verbally flipped off Jesus … and somehow, I got grace. It was the most honest I had ever been with Him, especially in the midst of so much pain and agony where I thought I knew so many of the “right answers” and didn’t want to admit that I doubted Jesus’ goodness and sovereignty. I was like the child who had something she loved taken away from her, then hits and screams and kicks at the very parent who is trying to wrap her in His arms and hold her as she sobs.

Jesus held me as I sobbed.

He still holds me as I sob.

And you know what? Christmas Eve is still hard. Even with an almost-2 year old running around and another baby in the womb constantly kicking me in the ribs, there is still a lingering sadness.

Not many people remember the date we lost the baby, or the date our baby was due.

But I do.

And Jesus does.

Jesus knows that I have sorrow. He knows that rejoicing in the midst of suffering is hard. Can we just be totally honest? Rejoicing in the midst of suffering sucks. And I hate it.

But that’s what this world is all about.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is not seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” – Romans 8: 18 – 25

Rejoicing on Christmas, even in the midst of my suffering, tells the world that my hope is in a Savior who has defeated my sin, defeated Satan, defeated the awfulness that makes miscarriages and suicides and diseases and hurts and disappointments possible and prolific.

Christmas announces that a Savior is here to bring light where there is darkness, to bring peace where there is strife, to bring hope where there is despair, to bring joy where there seems to be only sorrow.

Someday His Kingdom shall be fully on earth as it is in heaven. And we shall partake in the celebration where every knee bows and every tongue confesses that Jesus is Lord and He is Good. And there will be no more sorrow, no more tears, no more darkness.

For now, though, we mourn. But we do not mourn forever as those without hope.

We have Hope. His name is Jesus.

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone. You have multiplied the nation; you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as they are glad when they divide the spoil …

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.” Isaiah 9:2-3, 6-7
Merry Christmas, friends. May you know Jesus and His peace, even in the midst of suffering that seems too much to bear.

Saint Nicholas Day

December 9, 2014 Leave a Comment

In the Orthodox church, kids not only get to celebrate Christmas, they also get Saint Nicholas Day. Every December 6th, Orthodox boys and girls around the world put out their shoes at night and awaken to find candies and little toys. The candies of choice are gold chocolate coins in remembrance of Saint Nicholas’ gift to the man whose daughters were to be sold into slavery since they had no dowry. For us, the dreaded “Santa Clause Issue” will be an easier one, since we can actually talk of the real man behind the myth and point to his generous acts of charity that are a part of our lives year round.

The boys were pretty geared up about it all. They set out their shoes the night before and sat down with Jesse to read a children’s book we have about Saint Nicholas.

The boys each got a small action figure and a bunch of gold chocolate coins that I got from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory at the mall. You should’ve seen the way Gregory freaked out when he saw his shoes just outside the back window! He jumped into our bed Saturday morning begging for us to open the back door so he could get his “Ironman” 🙂

A day later on Sunday, our church held a special Saint Nicholas Day event for all the kids in the parish. They dismissed all of the kids (around 70 of them!) right after communion and sat them all in chairs in the parish hall. One of our young adults dressed himself as St. Nicholas, while another lady (his fiancé’, actually!) “interviewed” him. The kids got to learn all about St. Nicholas’ life through the answers he gave. Then, there were crafts and snacks for the kids, and then they got to go up by age group and receive a stocking full of gifts and candy from Saint Nicholas. How fun and cute!

I definitely know that this will be one of the holidays I most look forward to from now on!

5 Essential Items For Parenting Toddlers

November 19, 2014 4 Comments

The other day, it occurred to me that there are a ton of articles and lists out there about items one will need for parenting babies, but not many when it comes to toddlers. Perhaps it’s assumed that by the time kids are walking/talking, the parent is a veteran, and already knows what does and doesn’t work for them.

And yet…I don’t know about all of you, but parenting toddlers is a LOT harder in many ways than parenting a newborn. Did you all see this new book that came out? Parents of toddlers need humor in their lives for a reason– IT’S SUPER HARD. Sure, that 4 month old baby wakes up all the time, spits up, and can’t tell you what they need with words, but guess what. Toddlers STILL wake up all the time, spit up (usually on purpose, which makes it worse), and they STILL can’t express themselves with anything other than screaming (because, why use signs or words when howling is an option? Seriously, why are toddlers so LOUD?).

As I was rocking my 2.5 year old to sleep today (for the 3rd time), I started remembering all the little things that I’ve gathered over the years that have helped me parent my toddler and preschooler. I’ve also included a few things at the end that helped me when I was parenting our 10 and 5 year old foster children last year.

This list does not include “the best carseat” or anything– it’s a survival list, full of things that might just help you make it through the crazy years of parenting a toddler (or multiples, God help you).

1. Microfiber cloths–I have normal washcloths for wiping their grubby after-meal faces and hands, but these little puppies are an absolute life-saver for liquid-related emergencies. They hold 2-3x their weight in water! Just one will hold an entire toddler cup’s worth (ask me how I know).

You can find them in any automotive section, but I liked the pretty colors that they have on Amazon.Buying these was a bit of an accident– I didn’t know that they were actually used for car washing and the like, but if you could see how many times my kids have spilled their very-full cups of water on the ground (yes, intentionally, just to see what would happen), you might actually be able to envision a car wash in my dining room.

2. Bjorn Training Potty— When I went to potty-train Gregory, it was surprising to me how many potties don’t have a “splash guard” for boys. The boys hardly know what’s going on down there, much less the fact that they can spray everything in the room (one more use for the towels mentioned above). This one is super cheap, no frills, but it DOES have a little “shield”, which made life a lot easier at the beginning.

Granted, there are miracle children who naturally want to make your life easier by immediately going potty in an adult toilet (mine FINALLY does, after 3 months of potty training), but sometimes you never know how your kid is going to react to potty training until you’re there and in the moment. And every kid is different, even if they’re siblings 🙂

3. White Noise Machine–– It always shocks me when people don’t own one (or two) of these. We got one when Gregory was 3 months old, and we have used that thing for millions of hours by now. When you have two kids and a smallish space, a white noise machine turned up LOUD is essential for keeping the smaller kid asleep while the older one plays. This is especially true if your preschooler is really into imaginary guns, transformers, and train noises.

I hear parents complaining about the doorbell, older sibling, or dog waking up a kid napping, and I think, BUY THYSELF A NOISE MAKER. Problem solved. Your kid will never get awoken from a nap again. We could not live without this little machine, honestly, and with it I can create a sleeping environment for my kids almost anywhere, which enables us to still get sleep when we’re traveling.

4. Heavy duty placemats-– No, don’t get the cute kind. Get these from Bean Sprouts. They are the bullet proof vest of messes. I almost never have to wipe down the table after a meal– these placemats catch it all. They go in the dishwasher. They are sturdy enough for me to wash them in the sink without folding. The lip around the edge catches any liquid (or vomit, sigh) that may happen, and it doesn’t get all over the floor. These ones from Bean Sprouts are made from recycled non-toxic silicone, and, to be honest, sometimes I don’t even need a plate because this works even better.

5. Preschool Prep DVDs–– Okay, okay, no mom actually wants her kids watch TV. But let’s be honest here. We all do it. Every mom I know has turned on the tv for a half hour here or there in order to preserve her sanity.

Sometimes it’s when you’re making dinner, and the kids are having a meltdown.

Sometimes, it’s when the kids are punching and biting each other and having a meltdown.

Sometimes, it’s when they’ve awoken 2-3x in the middle of the night, and still choose to wake up at 5am and have a meltdown (sense a theme here?).

It’s good to have something to reach for, when the going gets rough.

On the bonus side, these DVDs are the best educational thing I’ve found (Leapfrog DVDs are also educational but so annoying!). I have a friend whose 18 month old can recite her numbers, shapes and colors! My 4 year old has been sounding out and reading words since he had just turned 3. The music is classical and soothing, which makes for great background noise if you’re trying to calm everyone down.

Like I said, the best case scenario is that your kid never watches a drop of TV ever. But the reality is that they will, occasionally. This is TV that you can actually sorta feel good about 🙂

So, there you have it– my 5 essential items for parenting toddlers 🙂 Agree? Disagree? Anything to add?

And now the list of Honorable Mentions:

1. Leapfrog Alphabet toy— I like this toy because of how entranced my kids are with it, and because of how it helps them sound out words. A friend of mine’s child was reading by the time she was 2 using JUST this toy, if that gives you an idea.

It’s an honorable mention because the singsongy-ness is almost enough to drive you crazy. So, fair warning 🙂

2. Okay To Wake Owl— This thing is cute, but my kids don’t exactly obey it all that well. But for some people whose kids like to wake up at the crack of dawn, it’s a lifesaver (check out the reviews! wowza!).

3. Visual Packing Chart— This isn’t exactly a product to buy, just a helpful tip we found while parenting our foster children. They were super forgetful, not only because of all the stress they were under, but also because…that’s just how kids are! Psychologists have proven that kids cannot visualize certain things, especially when cleaning up or packing ahead. We created a visual packing list for our 10 year old’s morning backpack needs, and a visual chore chart for getting home. Both of these were very helpful in keeping everyone’s frustration in check!

5 Tips for Traveling On An Airplane With Kids

Dealing With Loss at Christmas

Saint Nicholas Day

5 Essential Items For Parenting Toddlers

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