Comments on: My Job

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 23:38:26 +0000

It’s great that you’re able to have a consistent discipline regimen with the kids, because that’s going to provide so much security! Two nannies that I know are currently struggling with the authority issue, as the parents are almost TRYING to undermine them, in order to still remain “The Parent”. How sad that those kids don’t have their biological parents to care for them, and how lucky they are that they got someone like you who takes the responsibility of parenting them so seriously! Others might not understand that they could be causing a lot of issues later in life by leaving. One of the reasons I was starting to have doubts about the nanny job I almost took in Fort Worth was because I was recognizing that I wanted my OWN kids, and I’d have to break the 2 year commitment.

Since when did “raising” kids become such a looked down upon profession, that mothers would decide something else was more important? It’s one thing if you don’t yet HAVE kids, but once they’re here?? I just can’t fathom it! Sure, it’s hard, but the greatest things come with the biggest price tag! I think that most of these moms are going to have huge regret down the road when they realize that they don’t have a real relationship with their kids.

By: seattlitelarsens

seattlitelarsens — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 06:28:35 +0000

As a current full time nanny for an 20 month and 3 year old … I have a few thoughts. First of all, the nanny’s authority may be the most consistent of anyone’s and so it cannot be undermined, even by the parents. Perhaps it is just because I have a strong personality and have worked with kids for over 10 years, and the mom I work for first held an infant (EVER!) when she was handed her firstborn … but I am pretty constant in those kids’ lives. I’m also with them from 7:45-5, so that makes a HUGE difference. The 20 month old (who was barely 12 months when I started) DEFINITELY prefers me to mom. Why? Because I’m the one who cuddles with her when she wakes up from nap. I feed her one meal and two snacks out of her five eating opportunities. I helped teach her to walk, like puzzles, say a few words … the three year old crosses his parents all the time, but is MUCH better behaved for me. Why? Because I discipline the first time, almost every time (anyone who tells you they are 100% consistent has never spent more than an hour at a time with kids).

You’re right. Your love for little G FAR exceeds what I could EVER feel for these kids. But I still love them. I still feel like they are partly mine (and I’m mistaken for mom more often than not). Maybe it’s because I’m a Christ-follower who believes in adoption, compassion, love, service, etc. I guess what bothers me most about my job IS that the kids prefer me to mom. Even though mom works out of the daylight basement and comes up several times a day to see them, she’s still a practical stranger. And she’s missing all of their leaps and bounds in development. Our pastor makes a good point – you work, which requires its own costs (taxes, wardrobe, extra car and gas, babysitter/daycare/nanny), and your salary may not even contribute to the bottom line of the family. If I work at all when we have kids at home, it’ll probably taking in other people’s kids – I stay home and make money so that my kids aren’t raised by someone else.

After all that rambling, I TOTALLY agree with your reasons for staying home with little G. Peter and I have the same philosophy. Just be careful not to discount ALL nanny relationships. “My” kids LOVE seeing me every day, and the parents I work for are very supportive of that. True, it’s fleeting, and attachment disorders (which I encountered a lot in the foster care field) are real, which is a lot of why I want to stay at this job for as long as possible. I really wish I could take them home with me as mine so that relationship wouldn’t have to be severed …

By: Pam Bartel

Pam Bartel — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 01:13:24 +0000

Great thoughts Kelly. Especially your realization of how the stress of school affected Gregory. They feel everything the Mom goes through, I’m convinced. I also liked the idea of trading one room for more time with Gregory. Makes a lot of sense.