1. Who can forget our housing saga this past year, where we had to move back in with my parents TWICE? With 2 kids in tow?

2. When we moved to Dallas, TX, we knew NOT a soul and had never even been there before. We were 50/50 about trying to buy a house as well, so we spent the first 30 days in a sub-lease situation, where we met the guy from Craigslist, got his keys, and paid him $500 in cash to stay there for a month, all utilities paid. We kept our stuff in boxes the entire month, living out of our suitcases while we looked for our permanent place. We ended up deciding to rent, but the place we really wanted wasn’t available until a week AFTER our sublease was over. We didn’t know anything about the area, so we picked the Extended Stay Motel nearest Jesse’s Grad School.

BIG mistake, turns out. They didn’t allow pets, so we had to hide our cat and her litter box in the bathroom for an ENTIRE week. Jesse was allergic to the detergent they used on all the sheets. Our smoke alarm beeped incessantly, but we couldn’t have them fix it for fear of them discovering our cat.

Not only that, but we had people knocking on our door at all hours of the night, looking to buy drugs! Turns out, the person who’d lived there before us was a dealer. We were smack dab in the worst part of Irving, and we didn’t even know it!

This was one of my very first blog entries, 6 years ago. I tried to make light of a bad situation by writing about it. Enjoy!

Ugly-ette

So here we are at our little “Homeplace Inn + Suite”. What a lovely name. There were some major selling points in choosing this place, like the abundance of ants, the grubby neighbors knocking on the door at ungodly hours of the night, the low-on-juice smoke alarm that keeps beeping in a random manner, the room deodorizer that can’t decide whether wants to cover up the moldy smell or one-up it, their lack of tolerance for pets of any kind, oh, and the lowest price on the market.

One of their biggest selling points is that their rooms include a “kitchen-ette”. Such a lovely word. Like a dinnette, for instance, is a nice word for a nice thing- a small, cute, European trademark. Or Paulette. Reminds you of that sweet diner waitress who served your first Georgia waffles and called you “Hun”. Adding ette onto the end of a word should automatically imply that it’s fancy or wonderful in a modern way. It’s referring to the fact that precious things come in smaller packages. Things that have “ette” on the end should have unrealized, undiscovered potential.

Let’s look at the suffix “ette”. Here are the definitions that I found.

-ette

suff.

1. Small; diminutive

2. Female

3. An imitation or inferior kind of cloth

I would have to say that our “kitchenette”(let’s just call it this for lack of a worser name) takes after #3, minus the cloth part. Our kitchenette is just enough of an imitation that it feels like a joke, like it’s mocking us with its semblance of potential without any of the usual perks, like convenience or usefulness. We have just enough cupboard space to make me want to put stuff away, only to realize that none of it fits. There’s also enough counter space on which to rest a teaspoon, but of course, that would be exaggerating.

Basically, this kitchenette is like camping without the trees. Like a slip-n-slide with just a belly flop. Like Oreos without the lard.

But all in all, it will get us by for five days. As long as we can hide Mirabelle and keep her from sitting on our windowsill (THAT would be a dead giveaway). Perhaps we need to see the potential as it lies in the future- the promise of our nice, luxury apt. awaiting us on Friday. Perhaps all of this is meant to be dissatisfying to make sure that we appreciate what is to come.

And so, until then, we will continue to stuff all the food we can into our refrigerator. Or should I say, “refriger-ette” .

Our recent foster care situation has forever opened my eyes to how many children are out there, waiting for a home. Through my research, I’ve also learned that the greatest need is for babies with ethnicity or disability. Even greater is the need for sibling placements– someone willing to take 2-3 kids from the same family in order to keep them together.

I truly cannot understand why there are more “minority” babies out there than “white”. Maybe people want a “cohesive” looking family, and it’s easier to pretend they are your biological kid if they look like you. But isn’t the beauty of adoption that it’s NOT biological? That it’s NOT cohesive, but it works anyways? That love breaks through the barrier that is blood and race?

As I’ve we’ve done more and more research, one thing has become clear– if we adopt someday, I WANT a baby of a different race than us. I will ignore all the white babies and go straight for the one with dark skin. Add some medical disabilities in there. I want THOSE babies. All of them.

The hubby has tried to gently inform me that my recent obsession with the less-wanted might, just maybe, just maybe, have to do with my grieving process over C, our last foster placement.

Whatever, I say. The heart wants what the heart wants.

We’d been talking about this for weeks when the topic came up at church, during coffee hour. With the hubby beside me, I was explaining to a fellow English teacher and our choir director that if the situation was right, we would love to adopt someday. I kept going, talking about how many babies are unwanted because of their race, and it was making me mad, just talking about it.

“I want an african american baby. Period.” I said firmly.

The English teacher smiled hesitantly, and said, “You mean, through ADOPTION?”

“Yes,” I said. “Of course.”

He smirked. “Because….” and he looked at the Hubby.

“Because there is a limit to what I can do for you” Jesse said.

“Huh?”

“Well, I only make a specific breed of baby.”

And then I got it. They were making fun of me.  All 3 guys were howling with laughter.

“Yes, of COURSE, through adoption.” I said, irritated. “What else could I mean?”

Wrong question.

The English teacher smiled again. “Well, I just wouldn’t want you to go ‘looking’ for a different father….”

And then Jesse came in with the coup de grace.

“I mean, you do understand that I’m not a multi-ink pen? Click a different side and you get a different color?”

The analogy that took it too far. Forever mortified. Thanks, Hubby.

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This video proves that drugs exist in the world. If you’re at work right now, you might want to turn down the volume. But you will laugh until you cry. Promise.

1. I used to have a GIANT silver dollar-sized raspberry birth mark on my lower lip. It didn’t go away until I was 7.

2. I was sent home one day in Kindergarten for KISSING A BOY. His name was Todd. I remember the conversation with my mom, and I just kept saying, “But MOM! He was so CUUUUTE! I just HAD to kiss him!”

My 1st year of Kindergarten

3. I attempted to try out for a musical in junior high. I got so nervous, that when it came my time to sing, it came out like a squeak. I ran off the stage crying.

4. When I got my Kindergarten shots, I was so scared and outraged that I kicked the doctor square in the nose with my shoe. They had to bring a few nurses in to pin me down and give the shots in my leg. They hit a nerve and I was unable to walk for a week.

5. I used to take my brother’s stuff and sell it back to him in order to get his allowance money. When that didn’t work, I would convince him that nickels were worth more than dimes because they were bigger, thus our “trades” were in his favor.

I convinced Keith to do many things, back in the day…

6. I was once a cheerleader. I was also politely asked to quit. Long story.

7. I did gymnastics for a few years as a child, and then again in college.

I was always doing flips off of furniture…

8. For a few years in a row, my friends and I pogo-sticked the entire Templeton parade route!  I mastered a few tricks, like jumproping while pogosticking! I actually tried a cartwheel with the pogostick…didn’t end well….. My goal was to break the world record, which was something like 15 hours straight. I made it to 2.

9. I have always been gung-ho about the pro-life movement. When I turned 8, I had all of my friends bring baby stuff for the pregnancy care clinic instead of presents for me.

10. I hated jam, yogurt, and pizza growing up. My mom used to pack me special lunches whenever I went to birthday parties because I was so picky.

11. I have been reading since I turned 3. I used to bring chapter books to preschool because I wanted to impress the snot out of people. Instead, I was always alone.

12. I went to Europe on two different occasions. Both times, I spent over $300 in phone calls to Jesse.

On the Eiffel Tower, 2006

13. I couldn’t figure out what to title my first Torrey paper. Jesse threw out “Destiny’s Children” as a joke, but I thought he was serious. I failed that paper. The title also made the “Top 10 worst Torrey paper titles” list for the program. Yup, I’m kinda famous.

Big Sur 2003

14. My friends and I made it a point to go clubbing in every major city that we visited in Europe. We nearly succeeded, until we got lost near the Moulin Rouge at 1am. As a mom, I look back and can’t believe how stupid we were and that we survived.

15. I was heavier in high school than I was in college. Kinda bass-ackwards.

16. When I was 12, I wrote a letter to the CA state senator asking her to make abortion illegal.

17. I interned at a pro-life clinic for 2 years in college.

18. I used to be really good at the violin. I played for 4 years, and even used to perform on Saturday nights at a local bar with my fiddle teacher!

19. I won a magazine story writing contest when I was 10.

20. I was always coming up with ways to earn money. Once, I convinced my friend to dress up like an orphan with me. We went door to door singing for money. We made like $10! My mom made us give it all back when she found out.

21. I was homeschooled for 4 years and loved it!

22. I broke up with Jesse for 3 weeks at the end of my freshman year of college. I had just turned 18, and I was super scared about how serious our relationship already was. Those were the most miserable 3 weeks of my life. When I told him I wanted to get back together, he said, “Well, I’ll have to think about it”. OUCH.

2 years later! So glad he didn’t give up on me!

23. I FELL ASLEEP during my second don-rags (read: massive final that decides your semester grade) in Torrey. Years later, I heard freshmen talking about, “that one student who actually fell asleep” and I said, “Hey, that was ME!” They were not impressed.

Freshman year, 2003 with roommates

24.  I was almost arrested in Italy. Long story.

25. I used to go swing dancing 3-4 nights a week.

26. As a kid, I was bit by a dog. I was terrified of them for YEARS, and would even walk the long way to the mailbox so I didn’t have to pass by our neighbors who had a dog.

27. My first year of life, I had 2-3 ear infections every month. I was ALWAYS sick. No one knows why, I just eventually grew out of it.

28. I was bit by a spider in high school and had to go to the hospital for intravenous antibiotics several days in a row.

29. I used to have dozens of pet rats! I loved them so much!

30. My left foot is HALF A SIZE bigger than my right!

1998

2007

2012

2013

Kinda ridiculous, if you ask me.

Read more hilarious ones here.

Here’s a sample clip from the last episode that made me laugh till I cried.

After the first few days, we broke our no-air-conditioning streak and started turning it on often. From about 4pm on, the A/C was set to 68 degrees. Since the cool evening air wasn’t enough to cool our entire upstairs, we even left the A/C on at night, as it is impossible for me to get a good night’s sleep if I feel sweaty and gross.

Needless to say, we have been expecting something quite a bit more than our typical $19/month electricity bill.

When our bill is ready, PG&E sends me an email. I got our bill yesterday.

“Uhoh, Jesse. I got our electricity bill here.”

“What! Is it bad? Oh no. Don’t tell me.”

“It’s much higher. Obviously. We used our A/C a lot this month.”

“Let me guess, $200? $150? $250?”

You have to understand. Having lived in TX for 4 years, we only think of utility bills in 3 digits. Our typical electricity bill in the summer and winter months, for a newly-built 2 bedroom apartment, was around $250. In other words, it was like a car payment.

I let Jesse agonize for a while longer, saying things like, “Wow, it makes sense, I mean, we used it a ton….”

Then I broke it to him.

$31.70.

That’s it.

Granted, that’s almost 2x more than the month before.

But still.

Added to our gas bill of $13, we’re really breaking the bank over here…

Moral of the story: never underestimate the value of living in smaller square footage with great insulation!l

http://www.prx.org/pieces/73865-two-little-girls-explain-the-worst-haircut-ever#description