As a little child, I remember being afraid all the time. I was afraid of the dark. I was afraid of swimming. I was afraid of God (sigh, long story). As young as 5, I was acutely aware of death and was always afraid of people dying. I never wanted to jump off things. I had major social anxiety (especially after I was home schooled for a few years). I was deathly afraid of dogs. But the things I was afraid of, first and foremost, were bugs, especially mosquito eaters and spiders.
There was a time once when, in the middle of my bedtime routine, I ran screaming into our bedroom to get Jesse, face wash covering my eyes. Why? Because a giant “bird” (aka, large moth) was “attacking” me.
And apparently I’ve passed this fear onto Gregory.
Remember a few weeks ago, when I posted on Facebook about a large potato bug that Jesse and Gregory “caught” together (as it scurried across my living room floor???). Gregory was definitely apprehensive about looking at the bug once he saw my reaction, but I didn’t think much of it. Once Jesse caught the bug in a jar, it started flailing around, making this horrid scratchy noise. Who would want to be near that, right? He definitely ended up cowering with me on the couch.
Tonight, I noticed Gregory avoiding a large alphabet puzzle that a woman at church gave to us. He kept inching his way along the sofa to get around it, making sure his body was as far away as possible. It definitely struck me as odd.
Later on, he came to me crying, asking me to “cover up the alligator” and save him.
I looked. There was an alligator drawn on the side, so I covered it up with my hand.
“No, no!” he wailed. “THE BUG!”
And then I saw it. The “I for Insect” slot. There, with big buggy eyes, was a big green illustration of a bug.
I tried showing him the puzzle board again, touching it to show him it wasn’t real, but he started shaking and sobbing. He wouldn’t calm down long enough to even give me a chance to explain.
Does this seem bass-ackwards to anyone else? My rough and tumble 3 year old boy who eats mud is afraid of a PICTURE?
I know it was our potato bug incident that caused this, and while I feel bad about my reaction, I also know that there wasn’t a lot I could do. It happens before I realize it. A true involuntary reaction if I ever had one.
It got me thinking– since I gave him this fear, how do I help him out of it? Or will he get over it on his own? Every kid has fears, true, but isn’t it our job as parents to help them face things? Confront and overcome?
I know Gregory’s personality because he’s so much like me, and there’s no way I would’ve reacted well to someone pushing me to face my fears. I work slowly and methodically when I’m overcoming things and I shut down if I face any conflict or fear head on.
Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you deal with your child’s fears?
Related postsAs Many As Have Been Baptized |
GREAT Article on Motherhood |
Healing |
Why It’s Hard For Me |
Leave a Reply